Marching Orders For My Minions:

Hey my little killers!

Don’t think that I forgot about my Killmunity.  I’m just on the run for some shit I did. Anyone with a web cam can kill online. It takes a true artist to get away with it. For the first time ever, I’m glad that it’s impossible to find a place without coverage. Cells seriously fucked up horror movies and my career. But, if I didn’t know how to evolve I wouldn’t be here now. As soon as I get settled, we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other. There’s still work to do.


Three million people watched me work, but I want more accomplices!  And you can help.

Testify! Send me video testimonials about your experiences on Kill Cam Live. Tell me how joining in on a mass murder made you feel. What was it like to get to know our victims? Did you learn anything? How many pairs of underwear did you cream? Make it detailed and sultry. And don’t flatter me! Lies don’t help anyone. You can’t grow if you don’t know what you did wrong. An amateur thinks that they know everything. A professional knows that there is always more to learn.  Again: DETAILS - moments that are vivid for you.  How I made you feel….  (Graphic descriptions are very welcome.)

I’m still compiling my masterpiece that you have all helped create. 

Send your videos to me at killcamlive@gmail.com.  Don’t worry about making them awesome.  That’s my job - and I am REALLY good at what I do.

See you soon.

     - “Jessica Strand”

Who’s Gonna Die?!

Ladies & Gentlemen (and the Stickam folks). Welcome to the family favorite game show… Who’s Gonna Die?! You’ve had chances to save people (with varying results). Now it’s time to condemn someone. Regis Philbin ain’t got shit on me.

So… Who’s it going to be?

Jake? He’s got the bod, but he’s kind of a stick in the mud. Plus, he’s clearly not the nice guy that he tries to be. Forcing Sara to drink piss!? Even R. Kelly didn’t make that little girl drink it!

Or will you give the axe to Sara? Even with her tiny tits, she’s pretty fucking hot. But, she’s cowered behind Jake this entire time. And she hasn’t even given him a dry handy. Trust me, I’ve been watching. And all that fucking rape baggage! Who hasn’t had an unwanted dick inside them?

Who’s Gonna Die?

It’s up to you.

If you want Jake to kick the bucket: Text JAKE to 1-903-FAMECAM

If you want Sara to buy the farm: Text SARA to 1-903-FAMECAM

And remember to keep tweeting me your kill ideas. @Killcam_Live I still haven’t picked what trophy the “winner” is going to get.

See you soon.

Speaking of Improvisation…

…I think you all should have a chance to flex your improv muscles.

Send me your own ideas for dispatching this week’s victim via Twitter: @KillCam_Live

Here’s a couple off the top of my head: Death by a thousand melon ballings. Buried alive, after being severely burned. A ground glass enema. Have fun with it! Just remember that I’m a lot of things but I’m not a fucking engineer. I like a Rube Goldberg device as much as anyone. But I ain’t got a forge to shit in.

KISS. Keep It Simple pSycho.

See you soon.

OMFG! ROFL! SMPS!

Last night was fucking killer!

Did Jessica escape?  Will Jake find Sara?  Is Reggie dead?  Who is Keyser Soze?  What is the smoke monster?

I can’t wait for next week! So don’t worry. I’m not pulling a cock sucking Deadwood. I won’t stop until you get the real ending you deserve. No matter what. I’m a master of improvisation. See you soon.

           -Your Fiendish Neighborhood Killer

Game on!

We’re reaching the end of the 7th inning stretch; so get your concessions and head back to your seats.

Presently, Team Killer is leading with 8. While Team Poor Unfortunate Souls has 0.  Our roster is nearly 3 million deep and growing by the minute. With this many murderous teammates, I’m confident I can end this season successfully and get away with the win.

So get your heads in the game. No more playing grab ass. It’s time to get in predator mode. After all, that’s what I am. And this is my coming out party. Put the women and children to bed and get to the fucking choppah!

           -Your Fiendish Neighborhood Killer

Get Caught Up! Recap Winners!

CO-WINNER!

Andrew Clay has stepped out from behind the pen and has graced us with a video.  Well, done, Sir.

CO-WINNER!

A very play-by-play blog breakdown by Mr. Kevin Crocker.  Thanks for the thorough storytelling, though I’ve come to expect nothing less of you.

CLICK HERE: http://eslkevin.blogspot.com/p/killcam-live.html?zx=93159b3325d85e6e

…and, a bonus, since this SO made my day…

…and, thanks for the effort, BoredGirl (at least we have a chick on the board, finally!) Go #TeamKiller !!

#TeamKiller

Recap Kontest!

Hey there, Killmunity! Hope you had a good dead Indian day. I did. I’m masterfully carver.

Cill Kontest: I was so pleased to see all the new participants that joined in for leisure dress Lenny. I think the veterans should help them catch up on the carnage. I want to see more use of episodes this week. If I thought you wouldn’t want to get to know my co-stars, I would have just lined them up and made them into a human shish kabob. I’ve seen how clever you all are. But, let’s kick the imagination up a notch. I’ve been doing the same for this week’s special quest.

See you soon.

Save Lenny?

A Fiend With Weed; Is A Friend Indeed
 
Wanna save Lenny AND make him famous?!
I’ve seen how much you’ve all fallen in love with him (and I admit that he’s growing on me, too). Aside from the perverts that kept asking me to jiggle his balls or give him a dirty Sanchez, most of you want to save him.
So, let’s see how much you love Len-arino. If you can accomplish ANY of the following tasks, I will not kill Lenny. And I don’t mean this is any clever way. I won’t paralyze him or turn him into a Ralph potato. His hairs will go unharmed. He’ll probably forget what I’ve done anyway.
This puts a big twist in my plans, so the challenges are tough.
You decide. Do you sit on your hands and I kill Lenny?
Or, do you type your fingers bloody and save Lenny for old age or cancer.
His life is in your hands.
 
1. Get me an On Air feature on one of the following channels/shows.  Send me the vid.
            -TMZ
            -Entertainment Tonight
            -MSNBC
            -Fox News
            -CNN

OR

 
2. Get me screen grabs of articles about killcamlive.com by ALL ten of these.
            -Variety.com
            -HollywoodReporter.com
            -Bloodygusting.com
            -Fangoria.com
            -Fearnet.com
            -Joblo.com
            -AintItCool.com
            -Deadline.com
            -TMZ.com
            -PerezHilton.com
For all you uncreative Noobs, use this:  ”With almost a million live views and counting, viewers from every continent have become part of a growing “Killmunity”, participating in a LIVE interactive horror project.  With viewers interacting directly with characters from the ongoing storyline, KillCamLive.com is single-handedly changing the way that audiences are interacting with their ‘entertainment.’ “
 

OR

 
3. Get me screen grabs of retweets on killcamlive.com or @killcam_live from ALL of the following twitterers.
 
            -@eliroth
            -@thatkevinsmith
            -@BDisgusting
            -@lionsgatehorror
            -@wescraven
            -@danieltosh
            -@StephenAtHome
            -@darkhorizons
            -@GroovyBruce
            -@NikkiFinke
 
Do all three and I’ll give you what you really want: Give Lenny a dirty Sanchez.
What happens to Lenny is in your hands. Hopefully he’ll be entertaining enough to make your job easier. Get crackin’.
 
Good luck.

“The Art of the Kill” Contest

I’ve been receiving a lot of fan art and I don’t want to be the only one with them on my fridge.

So, any of you that have put down your feces and gone digital; send your pics to me before Wednesday and I’ll share my favorites on my tumblr and facebook page.

I’ll even cut your ear off if it’ll help your career. Just like all of you have helped with mine.

Get your mouse moving and send in your stuff to killcamlive@gmail.com

See you soon.

Catch Up, Noobs!

Catch up and don’t be such a newbie in the chat rooms.

This week’s Cill Kontest Recap WINNERS are…

WINNER!!

apxmusic/Kevin Crocker: He’s a good man, and thorough.

http://youtu.be/6JLFPQtB88c

RUNNER UP!

Arthur Monad: Love the song choice, but if you want to be on top next week, you’re going to have to step it up.

http://youtu.be/SHPJZDTu5KQ


In closing….a thought from Andrew Clay (Poet Laureate for all things KillCamLive.com):

The roses in the window box
Have tilted to one side
Everything about this house
Was born to grow and die